


Time Flies, Love Stays

by chizuru22



Series: Time Flies, Love Stays [1]
Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Matsumiya - Freeform, P: Ninomiya Kazunari/Matsumoto Jun, T: Time Flies Love Stays
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:47:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23700295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chizuru22/pseuds/chizuru22
Summary: When Matsumoto Jun met Ninomiya Kazunari again, he hoped that the smaller man will be able to hold Arashi together. But how can he achieved that when Ninomiya seemed to bring histories back to them.
Relationships: Aiba Masaki/Matsumoto Jun/Ninomiya Kazunari/Ohno Satoshi/Sakurai Sho, Matsumoto Jun/Ninomiya Kazunari
Series: Time Flies, Love Stays [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1706833
Comments: 40
Kudos: 31





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is kind of Nino-centric because I first wrote this fic for Nino's birthday last year or last two years? I can't remember. I managed to write half of the story before getting busy with my real life. Then, things happened with Arashi (& Nino) so I'm being unsure whether to post this or not. But being quarantine & all, I managed to push myself to write again & finished the story. I hope someone did enjoy this story. It has been sitting on my computer for far too long that it's started to haunt me. I'm glad I managed to finally get this over with. Also, this fic was supposed to be one shot with several parts only, but somehow it's expanded before I even realized. Thanks for reading! Please take note that this is unbeta-ed & English isn't my first language.

Jun sighed as he crossed out another name on the list of the audition. Today was the last day of the audition but it seemed that they failed to find their new guitarist.

“Is that all?” asked Sho as he rubbed his tired face.  
“Yes, and we’re doomed,” replied Jun.  
“Satoshi, wake up,” Sho pinched Ohno’s face as Aiba entered the room with their drinks.

Aiba handed the drinks to each of them and pressed the cold drink on Ohno’s cheek. Ohno shrieked and Aiba laughed his heart out.

“So, what do we do?” Jun sipped his cold tea and looked at his band mates.  
“Maybe we need to advertise the position?” suggested Aiba.  
“No, didn’t we agree to let the agency searched for the candidates in the first place?” Sho frowned.  
“And it will bad if it’s flood with girls’ application, right?” added Jun.

Everyone became silent at Jun’s words, remembering their bitter incident that almost break the group apart. Luckily, they managed to patch up the relationship and saved the group that they all love.

“Hey, remembered that my mum got re-married last month?” Ohno suddenly said, startled them all.  
“Yeah, how about that?”  
“Apparently, my step father had a son. I just met him last week after he came back from Prague.”  
“Satoshi, I’m impressed you managed to say Prague well,” Sho interrupted which earned a laughed from all of them.  
“Well, he just finished his studies in music there. I saw him playing guitar last week, and he’s awesome.”

“And why you just said this now?” asked Aiba.  
“After all the torture that we need to go through looking at all the talentless guitarist that our agency picked?” Jun scowled, remembering the candidates that crushed their expectation in an instant.

“Well…. I don’t want to suggest someone that related to me and simply because I didn’t think about that.”  
“Fair enough,” replied Sho. “Can you ask him to come tomorrow? I will inform our manager about that.”  
“Okay. I will tell him.”

The door opened and their manager poked his head inside.

“Arashi-san, the van is ready for you.”  
“Right, thanks Tanaka-san,” Jun answered and all of them gathered their things, ready to call it a day.

*

Jun climbed on his bed as soon as he finished bathing. He sighed in content as the bed felt comfortable under his tired body. Before falling asleep, he scrolled through the news content on his mobile phone.

‘Arashi on the verge of breaking apart?’

Jun read the highlight and cringed at the ridiculous content of the article. He dropped his mobile on the bed and sighed. Once again remembering the incident.

Arashi was formed five years before as soon as Jun and Aiba finished their studies in university. Forming a band has always been their dream. 

And Nino’s.

“Shit,” Jun cursed as his mind wandered to the bittersweet memories that he tried to suppress all this long. His heart ache at the thoughts.

“Damn Ninomiya,” Jun cursed again. Wondering how that single person managed to turn him into chaos after all this while. Even after they parted ways more than 10 years ago. 

Jun stirred to the side of his bed and opened the drawer there. He grabbed the small box and opened the lid. As soon as his eyes landed on the item inside, a single tear ran down his cheek.

*  
Jun yawned as he pushed the door to the audition room. The other members had already been there and in the middle of enjoying their early breakfast.

“Morning,” the three members greeted him in unison and Jun grunted his response.  
“Here’s your breakfast,” Sho handed him his portion and Jun looked at it absentmindedly. 

“Are you okay Matsujun? You looked tired,” asked Aiba.  
“Can’t sleep well last night,” Jun answered and yawned again to prove his point.  
“Well, better you eat this and prepare yourself because my step brother will arrive in 5 minutes,” Ohno said and patted Jun’s back.  
“Yeah,” Jun grabbed the food and started to dig on it. 

As Jun tried to swallow his food properly, they heard the knock on the door and everyone give their consent. It was their manager.

“Morning everyone. He’s here,” Tanaka said as he opened the door wider and a figure step inside with a huge guitar behind him. 

As soon as Jun’s eyes landed on the figure, he choked on his food and he swore his heart fell to his legs. He sure Aiba was in the same state as him.

“Nino?!” Aiba yelled and stood in disbelief looking at Nino. 

Nino just smiled and bowed politely. Surely Nino already knew who’s in the band already as Arashi has been huge in Japan (and outside Japan too).

“Wait, you know each other?” asked Ohno and he turned to look at all person available there. Everyone seemed to be in a state of mysterious shock.

“Unfortunately, or fortunately yes, Satoshi,” Nino answered. “I know them all.”  
“Nice to meet you all again, Aiba-chan, Jun-kun,” greeted Nino, “And Sho-chan.”  
“Sho-chan?” 

At the moment, Jun just realized that Sho looked like he wanted the ground to swallow him. 

“He’s, he’s… my ex,” Sho managed to say making everyone startled.  
“Wait, are you gay?” asked Aiba.  
“You can say I’m bisexual.”  
“Okay, can someone explain to me what happened here?” Ohno asked frustratingly.

“Well, I’m in the same high school with Aiba-chan and Jun-kun. Sho-chan was my boyfriend during college,” explained Nino. “And you are my cute step brother,” added Nino as he grabbed Ohno’s back.

Everyone seemed to fall into silence before Aiba jumped and hugged Nino.  
“Idiot! Release me,” Nino screamed as he pushed Aiba.  
“I miss you idiot!” Aiba kept on hugging Nino and Jun wished that he got the same gut as Aiba.  
“Yes, yes, I got it. But please release me!” Nino struggled and he met Jun’s eyes as Aiba finally release him. 

Jun swore his heart already left him as he stared into the eyes that brought back all the memories.

“You don’t miss me, Jun-kun?” Nino smirked and Jun realized how much he missed that smirk.  
“Of course, I miss you. Where did you disappear, brat?” Jun braced himself as he walked to Nino and engulfed him in a light hug. He was afraid that Nino will hear his crazy heartbeats. Nino laughed and Jun knew he missed that laugh too.

“It’s a secret,” Nino winked at Jun and turned to Sho. “Where’s my hug, Sho-chan,” Nino teased and laughed when he saw how stiffed Sho became. Nino hugged him anyway.  
“Congratulations on your wedding, Sho-chan. You didn’t invite me,” Nino pouted and managed to make Sho turned red.  
“Sorry, I don’t have your number anymore, and I believe you changed your number, right?”  
“That’s right,” Nino smiled and walked to stand beside Ohno. “So, when will we start my audition?”

“Ah, that’s right. Seems like we forget the real purpose here. Can we start now?” Jun asked, his professionalism showed but only God knew how much he tried to look okay in front of the others.  
“Yes,” all of them replied in unison and everyone began to get to their place. 

Jun braced himself as Nino getting ready to start playing the guitar. He knew how amazing Nino was and that’s one of his traits that made Jun fell for him in the past. He glanced at Sho as Nino started to get prepared. His heart clenched as a string of jealousy creeped into his heart. 

His mind blanked later as Nino started strumming his guitar and Jun wondered how after all these years, Nino still managed to turn his world upside down.

*

It’s been two months since Nino had been accepted into Arashi. His introduction as an Arashi member was met with great welcome from all, especially the fan. The fan was quick to love him and he started to gain his own fan in a short period of time. Jun can understand that honestly. Nino is adorable and his talent managed to capture many hearts.

Nino was also quick in adapting his place between the members also. Although he and Sho has some kind of history, there’s no any awkward interaction as Nino managed to get Sho comfortable again around him. Ohno and Nino was like a twin joint by the hip. Even though they’re also just met each other, they clicked in a way that no one can understand. Aiba was the usual Aiba. He’s just liked his usual cheerful self and always joking around with Nino. Jun remembered that they were also like that during their school years and Jun wondered if Aiba still had feelings for Nino. Nevertheless, Aiba looked normal to him.

The only problem was Jun. Jun still can’t act normal around Nino and he tried really hard to maintain his professionalism. They were so close back then, sometimes even closer than Aiba and Nino but Jun found it’s hard to bring the closeness back. Deep down in his heart, Jun knew the reason but he tried to deny it as much as he can. 

As usual today, Jun managed to escape as they finished practice for their first performance as five members of Arashi. The performance will take place next week and Jun was a little bit nervous with the fact that Nino will be playing along them.  
As soon as they finished the session, Jun escaped by making excuse that he needed to see his manager. Jun still wanted to practice and decided to just come back later when the others already left. Jun did see his manager and after half an hour, he decided to went back to the studio. 

Jun pushed the door and as he entered the room, his heart fell as he saw Nino was still practicing. He stopped when he saw Jun and gave a smile that make Jun wanted to bring Nino into his arms.

“Hey, you still here?” asked Jun, trying to cast away any awkwardness.  
“Yeah, I need to do my best,” Nino said and kept his eyes on Jun’s.  
“I think you did good already,” praised Jun.  
“Thanks, but I still need to make sure it will be perfect,” Nino turned his eyes away and Jun could see a glint of sadness in Nino’s eyes. 

“Are you okay?” asked Jun and he saw how Nino tightened his hold on his guitar.  
“I’m okay. Why did you ask that?” Nino smiled the kind of smile that Jun knew well. It’s the type of smile that Nino used to build a barrier around him.  
“I’m just asking,” Jun didn’t want to probe more as he didn’t want to see a sad Nino. “Let’s practice together?” Jun held his bass guitar and took his position.  
“Yeah,” Nino smiled and they started their session with heavy air around them.

*

They ended up going back together later as Jun offered to send Nino home when Nino said he will be going back by train. Jun was worried to be alone with Nino but when he looked at Nino’s tired face, he didn’t have the heart to let the smaller man to went back by himself. 

“J,” called Nino as Jun started the drive to Nino’s house. His heart skipped a bit as Nino used the nickname that he often used back then.

“Hmm?”  
“What happened with Arashi actually?”  
“What do you mean?” Jun tried to feign ignorance as Nino asked the matter that all of them want to bury.  
“You know what I mean,” Nino half pouted as he looked at Jun. “I asked Satoshi about that but he ended up getting mad at me for a week.”  
“Then, I don’t have the right to tell.”

“You are mean, J. I’m also an Arashi now,” Nino scoffed and turned away from Jun.  
“Fine, I guess you are right,” Jun sighed and cursed his heart for being weak with Nino. “But are you sure you want to hear it now? It will be a long story,” Jun continued as he realized that they were getting near to Nino’s apartment complex.

“Then come with me upstairs?” asked Nino as they stopped at the apartment’s parking lot.  
“Are you sure? You seemed tired though,” Jun tried to avoid the situation.  
“I’m okay, “said Nino. “And it’s been awhile since we spend time together.”  
“Ah, you are right,” Jun cursed his heart again as he looked at Nino’s pleading eyes.  
“I will cook you something if you want,” added Nino, leaving Jun at loss for any excuse.  
“Okay then.”  
“Yay, come,” Nino stepped out from the passenger’s seat and waited for Jun. 

Nino walked ahead of Jun as Jun was still struggling with his bag when he heard a sound of car coming from his right. Jun looked at Nino and startled when Nino kept on walking, unaware of the incoming car.

“Nino!” called Jun as he ran towards Nino and grabbed him to his chest. Luckily the car was slowing down and Jun managed to pull Nino at the right time.

“Are you okay?” asked Jun as he felt Nino trembled in his arm. Nino tightened his hold on Jun’s arm and nodded, unable to say anything. Jun continued to rub Nino’s back until he felt the trembling was gone.

“Thanks Jun-kun,” said Nino as he pulled apart.  
“It’s okay. Let me send you upstairs.”

Nino nodded and this time they walked side by side to Nino’s apartment. They fell silent along the way to Nino’s unit and Jun wondered about the incident.

The incident strengthened the feeling that Jun got ever since they met again. Nino seemed off and he always spacing out when he thought that no one saw him. But Jun did saw him. In fact, since they met years ago in middle school, Jun can never tear his eyes from Nino. Every single thing that Nino did will be engrave in Jun’s mind. 

They entered the apartment and Jun asked Nino to drink a water to calm his nerves. Nino looked better than before but Jun was still worried.

“I think you need to rest already,” said Jun. “I will take my leave so you can rest.”  
“But J,” Nino argued but Jun just shook his head.  
“Not today, not after what happened,” Jun sighed as Nino looked at him with those eyes. “I promise I will tell you later. Everything. I will tell you everything that happened.”  
“Hmm.”  
“Now, I need you to rest.”  
“Okay,” Nino agreed.  
“Bye Nino,” Jun smiled, patting Nino’s head gently.  
“Thanks Jun-kun,” Nino smiled back and walked Jun to the door. “Take care, J.”  
“You too. Good night,” Jun waved and walked to the elevator. 

All the way back home, Jun’s heart kept racing and his mind was full of Nino.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Matsumoto Jun met Ninomiya Kazunari again, he hoped that the smaller man will be able to hold Arashi together. But how can he achieved that when Ninomiya seemed to bring histories back to them.

“So, you and Nino huh,” Jun said as he grabbed the bento that has been given by Sho. Sho looked startled but tried to maintain his composure. They were the only one inside the studio as they were discussing about Sho’s part for the performance.

“Honestly, it seemed like just a fling,” Sho sat in front of Jun and opened his own bento.  
“Hm? Why was that?”  
“We were only together for two months before I ended it up him,” Sho picked on his rice and arrange the carrots aside.  
“Seriously?” Jun didn’t hide his surprise and looked at Sho with puzzle.

“Actually, I’m the one who pursued him. Even though I know he will never love me, I kept on convincing him,” Sho sighed and decided to just telling the truth. “Eventually he tried to accept me and I was happy at first. Then, as we were together, I can see it clearer that there’s someone in his heart that will never leave.”  
“Is that so,” Jun was surprised but he felt like he can understand Nino’s feeling. There’s someone in Jun’s heart that never leave also. 

“The more I spent time together with him, the more I can see it. His eyes always reflected the love for someone else. In the end, I ended up everything with him to save him from my unnecessary feeling. We stayed as a friend later but then I finished my studies first and never saw him anymore. Until now,” ended Sho with a small smile.

“So, that’s what happened,” Jun nodded and kept on munching his rice.  
“We don’t even kiss, Matsujun,” Sho chuckled and continued, “From the start I know it will be one-sided but a part of me still want to try. I don’t blame him though, for the heartache on my side.” 

“So, there’s someone that he loves, right,” Jun mumbled to himself.  
“Until now, I don’t know who’s the person that he loves. I’m curious myself, but everything is in the past now, and I’m happy that we can stay as friends right now,” added Sho.  
“I’m glad that you can be friend with him again,” Jun said sincerely.  
“How about the three of you?” asked Sho later. “What’s your story with him?”

“Well, the three of us were in the same high school during our days at Kyoto. Well, we were together since middle school actually. We were so close back then, always doing silly things together, getting scolded together and to form a band was our dream since back then,” Jun said as he finished his bento.  
“Then, what happened? How come Nino wasn’t there when you formed Arashi with us?”

“At the beginning of our last year together at high school, Nino’s mother got so sick. He kept missing school to take care of her,” Jun sighed, the memory was still so fresh in his mind. “She died a month later. So, Nino’s father took care of him and bring him to Tokyo. We parted ways there.”  
“I never knew that happened. Nino never told me anything about him or his past,” said Sho.

“When we were forming a band after college, we tried to search for him. We searched him everywhere and managed to get his address in Tokyo, but they didn’t live there anymore. So, we decided that we will form a band first and when we see him again, he will always have the place in the band. We kept on searching for him but eventually we accepted that maybe we will never saw him again. Who knows that years later, Ohno was the one who bring him to us?”  
“I see,” Sho nodded. “Well, all of you are together again now, and you can fulfill your dream together, right?”  
“Yeah, that’s right.”  
“I think we will be okay now,” added Sho.  
“I hope so,” Jun smiled as a bittersweet memory flooded his mind. There’s a part that he kept from telling Sho, but it was his to kept. A memory that kept coming back since he met Nino again.

*

Jun glanced at his two friends as Nino’s laughs filled their green room. He was joking around with Aiba as usual. They’re all taking a breath after they finished their first television performance together. It was a great success and Nino managed to blend perfectly with the dynamic of the group. It seemed like he had been here from the start. 

Nino’s laughs filled the room again as Aiba cracked a joke that only them knows. Jun tried to stop a string of jealousy that started to creep in. Sho had left earlier as soon as they finished the performance and Ohno was packing his things away.

“Matsujun! Oh-chan!” called Aiba suddenly.  
“Yeah,” Ohno mumbled while slinging his bag on his shoulder.  
“Let’s get something to eat. I’m starving!” added Aiba as his arm landed on Nino’s shoulders. 

“Sorry, got to back early. I have an arrangement to go fishing tonight,” Ohno clapped his hands in front of him as sign of apology.  
“Then, just the three of us right, Matsujun!” Aiba said cheerfully as he grabbed Jun on his other arm.  
“But…” Jun tried to decline but Aiba interrupted him.  
“It’s been a while since we hang out just three of us, come on, Matsujun!”

“Don’t be like this Aiba-chan. Maybe Jun-kun have something to do,” said Nino, trying to ease the situation as he looked at Jun.  
“No, no. I don’t have anything to do,” assured Jun, unable to resist Nino’s eyes (again). “Let’s go, right?” he added later, grabbing his bag.  
“Yay!” Aiba cheered as he waved at Ohno.  
“Then, I will be leaving you kids,” Ohno waved back as he made his way out. 

They arrived at the restaurant later. Aiba sat beside Nino and Jun sat opposite of them. Their position made it easier for Jun to stole a glance at Nino but he tried to hide it from Aiba (and Nino). After ordering their foods, the talk flowed naturally between them.  
“Who knows that we will have this opportunity again, to hang out and talk like this again after all these years,” Aiba said after their food arrived.

“Yeah, never expect that I will met the two of you again,” added Nino.  
“You are mean, Nino-chan! How come you didn’t contact any of us after you went to Tokyo!” Aiba whined as he slurped on his ramen.  
“Sorry. I got really busy trying to adapt living with my father and living in Tokyo. Forgive me, okay?”  
“You will always be forgiven,” Aiba said cheerfully.

“Say, Jun-kun,” Nino called him after noticing that Jun had been quiet.  
“Yeah?”  
“Did the two of you always together after high school?”  
“No, we went to different university. I went to Hokkaido’s and Aiba stayed at Kyoto.”  
“Oh…”

“If I know you are at Tokyo, I will also go there, Nino-chan!” Aiba hugged Nino’s shoulders and Jun prayed that he got the courage like Aiba’s.  
“Idiot! You did know that I’m at Tokyo,” Nino grunted, shrugging Aiba’s off.  
“Nino’s right,” added Jun.

“But I don’t think I can be accepted to Tokyo University like you. You are so smart, Nino-chan!” Aiba smiled and patted Nino’s head.  
“I’m not! I’m just lucky,” Nino make a peace sign and Jun smiled looking at the cute hamburger hand. Jun knew it’s not true. Nino did have the potential, he just lazed around during their school years. Also, the fact that Nino dislike getting the attention from the others, so he always settled to score the average. Jun always thought that if Nino did put all his effort in something, he will be an overachiever. Jun believed that’s the reason Nino got accepted to Tokyo University after all. But its puzzled Jun about what drove Nino to do that. 

“When did you go to Prague?” asked Jun later after they got their desserts.  
“Not long after I finished my bachelor degree. I got the scholarship to further study in classical music there.”  
“And you didn’t think to contact us at all?” Aiba interrupted, making Jun lost his next question for Nino.  
“Sorry,” Nino grinned. “And both of you started a band without me,” added Nino, trying to turn the blame.  
“We did search for you! It’s just you vanished like a thin air!”  
“I’m not vanished, I just went to study,” Nino shrugged, signaling the end of discussion. 

They finished their dessert later and got ready to leave when Aiba’s phone rang. Aiba muttered his apology before answering the call. He finished talking later and turned to Jun and Nino.

“Sorry, Matsujun, can you send Nino home? My mum needs me to fetch her,” Aiba said, looking apologetically at Jun and Nino.  
“I can do that,” Jun nodded although his stomach was full with butterflies as soon as Aiba finished his sentence.  
“It’s okay, I can go back by train, or cab.”  
“Don’t be silly, you will complaint to me about the fare later,” Aiba grinned and started making his way out.  
“Yeah, I can send you home, it will not be a problem,” Jun said and Nino nodded as they were making their ways to Jun’s car.

During the drive to Nino’s apartment, they fell into a comfortable silent. Both of them seemed lost in their thought and Jun only realized then when they arrived at Nino’s apartment. Jun looked at Nino as he still lost in his thoughts.

“Nino, we are here,” Jun gently said later as Nino sat still at the passenger seat.  
“Nino?” Jun called again and failed to get his attention.  
“Nino?” Jun touched Nino’s shoulder gently making him startled as he looked at Jun.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,” Jun apologized.  
“It’s okay. I didn’t realize that we have arrived.”  
“You seemed tired, let me send you upstairs,” Jun offered, remembering the incident when he sent Nino’s home last time.

“It’s okay, I will manage. I’m not weak, okay?”  
“I’m not saying that you are,” Jun climbed out from the car and wait for Nino to do the same. Nino followed later and looked at Jun, half pout making its way on his mouth.

“I insist,” Jun waved a hand, signaling for Nino to walk first. Nino sighed and let Jun followed him to his unit. His apartment was nothing made of luxury, just a modest apartment that he rent after he went back to Japan. In addition to his father getting remarried, it seemed like the right time to get his own place. Even Satoshi was renting his own place now.

“You want to come in? It’s still early,” asked Nino as he inserted the keys.  
“No, just get some rest.”  
“But Jun-kun promise to tell me everything about Arashi,” Nino blinked, trying to persuade Jun.  
“You are one sneaky brat,” Jun chuckled and looked at the face that resembled a puppy.  
“Ah, I missed you calling me brat.”  
“Did you get a hit on your head, Ninomiya? You used to hate me for calling you that.”  
“I didn’t say that,” Nino giggled. “So?” he added later, opening his door wider for Jun.  
“I guess so,” Jun sighed and walked inside, hoping that his heart will hold.

*

They get comfortable on Nino’s couch later as Nino grabbed beers for both of them. They were sitting on a long couch, with some distance between them. The television was on, serving as a background music for them. Although with the distance, Jun could feel the warmth radiated from Nino’s body. It made him nervous but the beer managed to keep his cool. 

“Actually, it’s not such a long story,” Jun started, getting comfortable on the couch. “It’s just hard to tell because it’s almost breaking us apart.”  
“What happened?”  
“You know that before you, our guitarist was a girl name Maki. She was excellent and we’re steadily getting popular,” Jun said, putting down his beer. Nino waited, looking at Jun to continue patiently.  
“Everything seemed okay, until Sho and Leader fell in love with her.”  
“Is that so…”

“Yeah… Like Aiba said before, we really did search for you, Nino. We want to wait for you but the management had been pushing us for the release at that time.”  
“Sorry...”  
“It’s okay, it’s all in the past,” Jun shrugged. “We were getting desperate and Maki was the only suitable candidate back then, so with that, Arashi was formed.”

“Do you remember our senior back then, Nino?” asked Jun.  
“Who?”  
“Nagase-san. At that time, we were always hanging out at his place to play with his guitars.”

“Ah, yeah, Nagase-san,” Nino smiled, remembering the memories.  
“He used to say back then that a band with girl and boy will only bring misery. The girl and the boy will fall for each other, and then the heartbreak and then the band will also be breaking apart. That’s what he always repeated to us.”  
“I remembered that,” replied Nino.

“That’s what happened with Arashi, and for worse, two boys fell for one girl,” Jun sighed. “Maki was so undecided back then. The matter was prolonged until it brought a bad blood between Sho and Leader. We really did almost break apart back then. Then, you know the rest,” Jun ended, looking at Nino.  
“Maki chose Sho-chan and they are married now,” said Nino.

“Yes. From that on, we decided we will not be having a female member anymore,” added Jun. Although Jun did wonder if bringing Nino will helped getting away from the situation again. With one ex-boyfriend and two other members having some kind of feeling for Nino. ‘Crap,’ Jun cursed in his heart.

“How did Satoshi and Sho-chan rekindled their friendship again?” asked Nino.  
“For one, Leader has a big heart and able to accept Maki’s decision bravely. Second, both of them are a really good friends since their school years back then, so they managed to restore the harmony in the group again.”  
“That’s why Satoshi was so mad at me for asking this. I felt guilty,” Nino scratched his head, messing his hair in an adorable way.

“You didn’t know that. It’s not your fault.”  
“I hope Arashi will going to be okay after this…” Nino mumbled silently but Jun managed to catch the words.

“What did you say?” asked Jun, puzzled with Nino’s sudden statement.  
“No, nothing, just mumbling to myself,” Nino smiled and drank his beer.

“So, that’s the end of the story, may I go back now?” Jun chuckled, switching the matters aside.  
“Yes,” Nino nodded before adding, “Or, you can crash here?”  
“It’s okay, I don’t want to trouble you anymore,” Jun declined, unable to resist Nino if he did stay. “I need my bed anyway,” he added later, trying to emphasis his point.  
“It can’t be helped then.”

“So, later? Get a good rest, okay?” Jun said as they walked to the door.  
“You too.”  
“Bye, Nino,” Jun smiled and let his hand patted Nino’s head, unable to stop himself.  
“Bye, J. Safe drive,” Nino smiled back and Jun made his way out.

After Jun safely arrived at his own apartment, he went to the bedside drawer. His heart ache as he opened the small box there. That night, his dream was full of Nino and heartache.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for mistakes! I have difficulties trying to maintain their characters. It's so hard so it can be OOC. Hope anyone reading can still enjoy it. Thanks again!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Matsumoto Jun met Ninomiya Kazunari again, he hoped that the smaller man will be able to hold Arashi together. But how can he achieved that when Ninomiya seemed to bring histories back to them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for mistakes!

“Where’s J?” Nino asked as he saw Aiba making his way into his bedroom.  
“He’s on his way,” Aiba said quietly, looking everywhere but Nino.  
“J is so mean, this is my last day here,” Nino pouted.  
“He will be here later,” Aiba said.  
“Okay then.”  
“Nino,” Aiba called for him as Nino pack his stuffs on the table into the sling bag.  
“Hm? What is it Aiba-chan?”  
“Nino,” called Aiba again.  
“What?”  
“I like you,” Aiba confessed, staring deeply into Nino’s eyes.  
“What are you saying Aiba-chan? We are friends, of course you like me!” Nino chuckled, trying to feign ignorance.  
“It’s another kind of like. I have feelings for you!” Aiba said confidently.  
“Oh, Aiba-chan,” Nino sighed and slowly making his way to Aiba and hugged him.  
Little did they know, Jun witnessed all of this behind the slightly ajar door. Before Jun heard Nino said anything, he ran with all his might. The weight of a small box inside his hand felt even more heavier than his heart.  
*  
Jun woke up with a heavy head. He looked at his surroundings to see that he was in his bedroom, not in Kyoto back then nursing his first heart break. Jun remembered after that, he did come to send Nino off, but he tried to avoid looking at Aiba and Nino as much as he can.

He finished his last school year together with Aiba and avoided conversation about Nino as much as he can. Whenever Aiba tried to talk about Nino, Jun will end the talk quickly. He might be a coward but he couldn’t stand to hear about Nino from Aiba or hearing the talk about how they get together or something. Jun was also busying himself with extra part time jobs to avoid spending time with Aiba. The jobs did help him paid his fees at the university though. The other reason was to avoid feeling lonely when he was hanging out with Aiba. If he did hang out with Aiba, it will emphasize the fact that Nino was not there. 

They parted ways later during their university years. Jun did think that their dream to form a band will stay as a dream until Aiba went to see him at Kyoto. They just finished their study at the university and Aiba went to his house with a claim of promise. Jun, being a good friend that he was, get together with Aiba again and built their dream again. 

During the catch up, Jun learned that Aiba was no longer in contact with Nino for years. In fact, the last contact was during their high school graduation. Jun felt like a fool but he was too afraid to ask about the matter of their relationship. So, the matter was hanging out like a ghost to Jun until now. 

With Nino in Arashi now, Jun was too afraid to think about the consequences. He wasn’t sure about the state of Aiba’s feelings. But to Jun, he is indeed still in love with Nino. Jun wasn’t sure how he can hold on for that feeling for such a long time. There were many points in his life that he almost moved on. He tried to meet new people, but at the end of the day, Nino was the only one in his mind. He was in that kind of situation even before he met Nino again. After Nino came, he wasn’t sure if he wanted things to progress or anything with Aiba and Arashi to be considered. So, he just going with the flow that already formed around the band. 

Jun sighed and walked to the kitchen to start his day. They got full session of meetings today for their new album with Nino in addition. They also needed to discuss the matters about their first concert together as five. It’s been half a year already since Nino’s arrival. The fan has been asking for new album and new concert tours. Jun needed to be prepared for the long day.

*

“Guys, I have a favor,” Nino said as they were in their studio, discussing between the five of them about the new album.  
“What it is?” Ohno asked, looking at Nino patiently.  
“Is it possible if we produced a song that I composed? For our new album,” Nino said carefully, while looking at his bandmates.  
“Well, it can be arranged,” answered Jun.  
“But we need to hear the song first. To know if it will fit into our album or not,” Sho said. 

“And, I want to sing the song,” added Nino, making the room turned into silence.  
“That’s some unreasonable request,” Sho was the first one to cut into the silence.  
“It is that impossible?” asked Nino.  
“It’s obvious! Arashi’s vocal has always been Satoshi!” Sho grumbled before adding, “And it will stay that way.”  
“I know that. I’m just asking for this once. Only for this song,” Nino plead.

“So, you want the popularity? The attention?” added Sho, making Nino startled.  
“You don’t need to be so harsh, Sho-kun,” Jun said and stood to get near Nino’s seat. Jun could saw the smaller man grip tightened.  
“It’s okay, Jun-kun. Maybe he’s right. But, please, just this one time,” Nino stood and bowed before them.  
“I think it’s something that we can discuss more,” Aiba tried to ease the situation.  
“But what will I do? I can’t play any instrument though,” Ohno said but his voice was gentle, trying to understand.

“See? That’s just your selfish request, Nino,” Sho added again.  
“Sho-kun, I’m sure Nino has his own reason,” Jun defended.  
“Aiba-kun is right, we can discuss this more, maybe I can learn to play something?” Ohno reasoned as he saw Sho wanted to say something.

“It’s good to be as cute as Nino-chan, right?” Sho said suddenly, making Nino turned to him.  
“What do you mean by that?”  
“Well, with his cute face he managed to turn the bandmates that I’ve been working with for years against me in just a short time,” Sho chuckled but his face showed a clear dissatisfaction towards Nino.

“Sho!” Jun leaned forward and grabbed Sho’s front shirt.  
“Jun! Stop!” Nino’s voice stopped Jun before he managed to land a punch on Sho’s face. Jun released Sho as Nino once again bowed to them.

“Sorry,” Nino said with a sad face and walked away towards the door.  
“Nino,” Jun ran after him and stopped when Nino did.  
“You don’t need to follow me, J. I just want to go to the toilet,” said Nino but he didn’t turn to look at Jun before leaving the studio. Jun wanted to say that Nino’s been lying because Nino brought all of his belonging with him. 

Jun turned to look at Sho and glared at him.

“What? I only said the truth,” Sho said.  
“But we can be civilized and discuss about this properly, right?” replied Aiba.  
“The next time you see him, I want you to apologize,” Ohno said in finality. Sho seemed want to argue more, but the way Ohno looked at him made him kept his silence.

Jun sighed and rubbed his tired face. His mind went to Nino. There’s something wrong with the smaller man. Jun was sure of that.

*

The next time they met again was for another meeting regarding their new album three days later. Jun was so worried about Nino. Nino didn’t answer his calls and didn’t return his text messages at all. He wanted to go to Nino’s apartment but he was afraid that he will only be a disturbance. 

Jun was also worried about the air between the five of them. He felt reluctant to step inside their studio. But when Jun did, he heard the laughing voice of Nino and Sho. It will be an understatement to say that Jun was surprise.

Jun looked at the situation warily. All of them greeted Jun as he sat beside Aiba on the couch.  
“Am I still dreaming? Did I sleepwalk here?” Jun whispered.  
“No Matsujun, you are here fully aware and alive,” Aiba chuckled, looking at Jun’s face.  
“What happened?”  
“Apparently, Nino apologized first before Sho.”  
“Is that so.”  
“But Nino is still firm on his request,” added Aiba.

Ohno then asked them to start the meeting. Jun and Aiba stood and walked to the table area. Aiba sat first between Sho and Ohno so Jun ended up sitting beside Nino in front of them. 

“So, let’s start,” Jun began.  
“I’m glad to see that Kazunari and Sho-kun has been on good term again,” Ohno said.  
“Sorry, but I still stand with my request,” Nino firmly said, looking at his bandmates face.  
“I know, so let’s discuss it now,” Jun quickly said before Sho started saying anything.  
“Okay,” the others said in unison.

“So far, we need three more songs to put in our album. Hayato-san just finished the arrangement for one song and another one needs Sho-kun arrangement for his piano part. We just need another one,” Jun said, looking at his notes. “So, I think there’s no harm in trying to put Nino’s song in the album.”

“You still want to sing it yourself?” Ohno asked.  
“Yes,” answered Nino. “I know my voice may not be as good as Satoshi, and Satoshi has always been the only vocal for Arashi, but I need to do this. Just for this one time.”  
“It may be okay for the album recording, but what will Satoshi-kun do during the concert?” Sho said but his voice gentler now and didn’t seems accusing like before.

“I can learn the notes for the guitar part, it will only for one song, right?” replied Ohno. “And maybe it’s time for me to learn some instruments anyway.”  
“Thanks Satoshi,” Nino looked gratefully to his step brother. “I can still play the guitar while singing. So, I can teach you a simpler note for your part,” Nino offered.

“Yay, it’s decided!” Aiba said cheerfully.  
“Wait a minute Aiba,” Sho interrupted. “It may be just fine like that, but how about our fan? Will they accept other vocal though? And Nino’s new anyway. Even the three of us never sing any vocal before,” Sho reasoned.

“I have been thinking about that,” said Jun. “We can put Nino’s singing video at our Youtube channel. We can see fan’s reaction there.”  
“That’s right,” Aiba nodded.

“I will not say that it’s final, but we can see from that and decide by then,” added Jun. “Nino, I can’t promise it yet, I hope you understand.”  
“I understand. Thanks for listening to my selfish request and for trying,” Nino smiled.  
“So, everyone agrees?” Ohno asked later, gaining a unison ‘yes’ from everyone.

Jun was glad that they managed to find a solution. Arashi was saved again and he hope everything will be just fine. But more importantly, Jun was relieved that Nino’s clouded eyes seemed a bit clearer now.

*

They ended up going to dinner and had a bit of drink later after they finished their meeting. It’s the first for them since Nino had become Arashi. Everyone except Nino and Jun seemed a bit drunk already as they chattered. Jun was the designated driver and Nino only had a glass of drink as he need to wake up early tomorrow, having an interview with a magazine.

“Ahhh, this is the best day of my life!” Aiba said cheerfully, gaining a slap on his head from Jun. Luckily, they were in a private room or otherwise they will be gaining attention from the other customers.  
“You lied! You said that before when we finished out performance,” slurred Ohno.  
“Yeah, I’m a liar…” Aiba nodded and landed his head on Ohno’s shoulder besides him.  
“Shush, shush,” Ohno patted Aiba’s cheek while giggling.

“Did they always like that?” Nino chuckled, turning to look at Jun.  
“Yeah, when they get drunk, they will turn to be either a sappy old men or bigger idiots than usual,” replied Jun. He looked at Sho who sat beside Nino, silently drinking his beer.  
“And that one there,” Jun added, signing to Sho before adding, “Will become either a pervert or a brutally honest man.”

“They look happy though,” Nino smiled and finished his drink.  
“You want another?” Jun asked out of courtesy. Nino just shook his head and then dropped his head on the chair. Jun watched his tired face and decided to call it a night. Everyone else had also finished their drinks.

“Okay, old men, up, up, time to go home,” Jun grabbed his things and stood up to push Aiba and Ohno aside.  
“Matsujun no funnn,” Aiba whined, gaining a nodded from Ohno.  
“You had your fun though. Come on, time to get rest,” Jun said patiently and managed to help both Aiba and Ohno to stand.

“Nino-channnnn,” Sho called suddenly, startling Jun and Nino. Nino stood and tried to help Sho to stand.  
“What is it?” Nino said as Sho grabbed his arm. Nino looked uncomfortable and Jun felt something was not right and wanted to go to Nino’s side. But the two children in his arms refused to cooperate.

“Come on Sho-kun, grab your things please,” Jun said as he tried to balance Aiba and Ohno.  
“Nino,” Sho said again.  
“What?”  
“I love youuuu,” replied Sho and landed a kiss on Nino’s mouth. 

Nino was startled but quickly pushed Sho away. Jun’s face drained from any blood and he could saw that Nino was in the same state as him. His heart broke again as he saw Aiba getting sober and stared at the event in front of him. 

“Nino-channnn,” Sho tried to grab Nino again and Nino tried to distance himself. Sho was stopped on his track as Jun’s body suddenly came and shielded Nino.

“Stop it, you are being a jerk,” Jun said angrily to the drunken man as he put a hand on Sho’s arm. Sho seemed lost then as he kept mumbling slurring words that Jun decided not to decipher. Jun turned to look a Nino, noticing the slight shivers on his body. 

“Nino, helped Aiba with Leader please? Jun said, trying to distract Nino.  
“Um, yeah,” replied Nino hesitantly as he went to Ohno and Aiba that kept holding each other as they stood. Aiba has a blank on his face but he seemed aware of his surroundings. 

They made their ways outside and put the three of them at the backseat. Jun climbed on the driver seat and Nino sat beside him. Jun started to drive and looked at Aiba through the rear mirror. Aiba seemed asleep as a light snore could be heard. 

“Are you okay?”  
“Yes.”  
“Sorry that it happened.”  
“It’s not your fault, J.”  
“Okay, get some rest before we get to your place,” Jun didn’t want to prolong the topic. 

He decided that he will send Nino home first. Afraid that the longer Nino sat inside the car, the more disturbed he become. The rest of the drive fell into silent as Jun tried to focus on the road and Nino stare outside of the window emptily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sho's fan don't be mad at me! It's just he needed to play the part to move the plot. I love him, I swear. Sorry for a bit of time jump & this story may progress fast because it's still have a lot of issues that need to be solve. I don't want to prolong it too. Thanks for anyone reading! :D


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Angst ahead.

Jun arrived early at the studio the next morning as he knew that Sho will already be there. The older man did say that he wanted to finish the arrangement for his piano part. Aiba and Ohno also will only arrived before noon while Nino was still at the magazine interview. He needed to confront Sho alone.

Jun entered the studio and saw that Sho was slumping against the piano. Jun dropped his bag and walked to Sho, grabbing one chair before he sat near the man. 

“Care to explain yourself?” Jun started, trying to keep his anger in check.  
“What?”  
“Last night. Do you remember anything at all?”  
“Did I do something?” replied Sho looking at Jun’s sharp eyes. When he didn’t get any answer from Jun, he added, “The last thing I remembered was Aiba’s singing a Totoro song.”

Jun sighed. He knew he couldn’t blame a drunken man but he was angry that Sho didn’t even realize the damage that he done to many people last night.

“Tell me, what did I do?” Sho asked later as Jun kept his silence.  
“You kissed Nino,” Jun answered reluctantly, leaving Sho’s mouth agape.  
“And you said you love him,” added Jun.  
“What? Really?”  
“Yes.”

They fell into silent then as both losing into their own minds.

“I know you will either be a pervert or brutally honest when you are drunk. I don’t know which one was that last night,” said Jun later.  
“I think it doesn’t matter anyway. I’m drunk after all. I don’t even remember it.”  
“Doesn’t matter? Are you out of your mind?”  
“Why are you angry anyway? Why are you so worked up over this? It’s a normal behavior for a drunken man after all,” Sho hissed. 

Jun stood up and grabbed Sho’s front shirt angrily.

“Did you realize what had you done to Nino? You made him sad last night! And Aiba too! Luckily Leader was drunk, otherwise you will offend him with your behavior again!”  
“Why do you care?” Sho pushed Jun away. “And why is this related to Aiba?”  
“Because you are being jerk to my friends!”  
“So, this is you trying to be a hero?” Sho challenged.

“No!” Jun denied angrily. “You didn’t know that Aiba is in love with Nino! With you being like that last night, you made him sad too!” 

“I’m what?” Aiba’s voice startled them both as they turned to look at the door. Aiba stood there, looking at the two of them like an alien.

“How long have you been there?” asked Jun, looking guilty.  
“Enough to hear that you said I’m in love with Nino,” Aiba shrugged and entered the studio. He put down his things and stood in front of Jun with his arms folded in front of his chest.  
“You are, right?” Jun said hesitantly. “You are in love with him since our school days. I know about that.”

Aiba kept looking at Jun like he’s losing his mind. Sho knew how to keep silent and retreated to his seat at the piano. 

“How can you be so stupid, Matsujun?” Aiba sighed, still looking sharply at Jun.  
“Sorry?”  
“The one who’s in love with Nino-chan is you.”  
“What? I don’t …” Jun tried to deny, looking away from his best friend. He knew that Aiba could look through him.  
“Don’t lie,” Aiba gently said. “I think it’s time you confess to him.”

“No, you need to confess to him. You deserve him.”  
“No, you deserve him. You need to get him, Matsujun.”  
“You are more worthy than me, Aiba.”  
“Guys,” Sho interrupted. 

Jun and Aiba turned to him before Sho point at the studio’s door. Jun felt his heart stopped as he saw Nino and Ohno standing there, clearly having heard their conversation. The look on Nino’s face was enough to make Jun wished that he died right there and then.

“Am I some kind of ball that you can throw away between the two of you?” Nino’s emotionless voice cut through Jun’s heart like a blade.  
“Am I just a thing to both of you? Some kind of object?” added Nino, gripping his bag tightly.  
“Nino, we didn’t mean it like that,” Jun said as he tried to walk to Nino.

Nino threw out his hand, making Jun stopped on his track. Without a word, Nino left the studio.

“Nino!” Jun and Aiba said in unison, trying to follow him.  
“I think I will take in charge here,” Ohno said after silently looking at the drama in front of him.  
“Both of you, sort out your shit,” Ohno added before leaving the studio to look out for his step brother.

* 

“Sho-kun, sorry. But can you leave me with Jun?” Aiba said a minute after Ohno left the studio. Sho nodded and brought his phone with him.

“Call me when you are done,” Sho said before leaving. 

Aiba sat at the couch there and signaling for Jun to do the same. Jun seemed lost in a helpless state and it was rare to see that Aiba was the one that took control.

“Matsujun, you idiot!” said Aiba as Jun sat beside him.  
“Why? You love him, right?” replied Jun. “Sorry, but I accidently heard your confession during Nino’s last day at Kyoto.”  
“That’s why you are an idiot.”  
“Why?”  
“Yes, I did love him. I did confess to him. But he rejected me.”  
“What…? Really…?” Jun looked at Aiba in surprise. “But I saw he hugged you.”  
“He did, but it didn’t mean that he accepted me. You didn’t stay long enough to hear countless apology from him after that.”  
“Is that so…”

“Yes. And it’s also the fact that no matter how much I love him, he will never love me back, Matsujun.”  
“Because there’s someone else that he loves?” Jun said, remembering his conversation with Sho in the past.  
“Because there’s someone that he loves,” Aiba nodded and looked at Jun meaningfully.  
“Who…?” Jun asked, making Aiba palm faced.  
“I didn’t know that you are so dense about love,” Aiba said. “Both of you who are always so smart, smarter than me usually and now look how silly both of you have become.”

Jun kept staring at Aiba, unable to understand his words.

“Nino loves you, Matsujun. So, stop being an idiot,” Aiba gently said.  
“What? How do you know?”  
“Well, he didn’t say it directly to me,” replied Aiba. “Because he’s also an idiot like you. But I can see it. Even more clearly after he rejected me.”  
“So, you are just making your assumption. He didn’t say that.”

“He was so sad when you didn’t contact him after he went to Tokyo. When he did contact me, he always asked about you. Eventually, we lost contact, but until the end, he was always so concern about you.”  
“I didn’t mean that…”  
“I know. But he kept worrying that you already forget him, and worse, you already hate him.”  
“No. I was too afraid to hear about him from you. I’m a coward to know that you are in a relationship with him. It’s too much for me at that time.”  
“You love him that much, right?” Aiba smiled.  
“I didn’t say that!” Jun denied, feeling his cheeks getting hot. “And even IF it’s true that I love him back then, doesn’t mean I love him NOW. And doesn’t mean he still have feeling for… me?” 

“I noticed how you looked at each other NOW. I know that look,” Aiba smirked. “But both of you didn’t aware about that anyway. Since both of you are an idiot.”  
“This was the only day that I heard you calling other people idiot, Aiba-chan,” Jun smiled, feeling his heart getting lighter after talking to his best friend. It’s been long since they managed to talk heart to heart like this anyway.  
“Hey, you should confess though,” Aiba nudged Jun. “I will be rooting for both of you.”

“What if he didn’t love me back?”  
“Hah! Finally, you admit that you love him!”  
“I didn’t say that!”  
“You did! Indirectly.”

“Seriously, Masaki. Stop teasing.” Jun turned from looking at Aiba, trying to save his pride.  
“But I mean that. You should confess Jun-chan.”  
“Shut up,” Jun retorted. “How about you…?”

Aiba sighed before he smacked Jun’s back.

“I’m not related with this equation at all, Matsumoto. I DID love him. I didn’t deny that. But I didn’t love him like that right now. I love him like a friend now. Purely, and I adore him. Like a baby brother. He also knows that.”

“Are you saying the truth?”  
“Yes,” said Aiba firmly. “Besides, my girlfriend will be heartbroken if she heard that I’m in love with Nino.”  
“What? How? When?” Jun looked surprisingly at Aiba. “You didn’t tell me!”  
“I want to tell you. But we have been so busy lately that it slipped my mind.”  
“Tell me now.”  
“No. Now is not the time,” Aiba shook his head. “Now is the time for you to correct your mistake and stop being an idiot. I will tell you later about my secret,” Aiba winked. 

Jun looked at Aiba gratefully. Jun always knew that Aiba is smart and more attentive than he always showed. Jun didn’t expect that he finally got to see that side of his best friend.

*

Ohno managed to track Nino at the rooftop after his escape from the studio. Honestly, Ohno was a bit startled about the drama that unfolded in front of him just now. He didn’t know that Jun and Aiba had that kind of feelings towards Nino. He also puzzled about the reason that triggered the situation. Maybe he needed to stop being absentminded, or else he will lose a lot of event that happened in Arashi.

Ohno looked at his step brother carefully. Nino sat at the bench there, staring mindlessly at the sky before him. Ohno got nearer to him and sat beside the younger man.

“Don’t say anything Satoshi,” Nino muttered tiredly. 

Ohno shrugged and slowly brought Nino’s head to land on his shoulder. Nino stiffened but eventually getting relax as Ohno patted his shoulder gently. They kept sitting in that situation until Nino straightened up and smiled at Ohno.

“I’m okay now,” Nino said later but kept his shoulder closed with Ohno’s.  
“I’m glad,” Ohno playfully nudged Nino’s body with his shoulder, earning a laugh from Nino. “You can’t blame them though.”  
“What?”  
“Although you can be some kind of brat, you are adorable. So, it’s understandable if you have one or two admirers,” teased Ohno, making Nino pouted.

“And if you are not my brother, I may fall for you too,” Ohno added and turned to look at Nino’s eyes.  
“Tell me you didn’t say that,” Nino said and covered his ears. “Tell me that I’m imagining things.”  
Ohno shrugged. “I’m telling the truth.”  
“Tell me you are joking Satoshi.”

Nino turned to Ohno that kept giving him a meaningful look. They kept looking at each other until Nino slightly pushed Ohno.

“You are NOT helping, brother,” Nino grunted and walked away from Ohno.  
“Kazunari, wait,” Ohno followed after him and grabbed his hand. “I’m just joking, okay?”

Nino looked at Ohno before smiling, accepting Ohno’s words. They walked back inside while joking with each other. 

*

They managed to hold their short meeting after the event. Although there’s some kind of awkward air between them, they managed to remain professional and ended the meeting without a hitch. The five of them went straight to pack their belongings after that with Ohno being the first to leave. 

“Bye, Kazunari,” Ohno said as he was making his way out. “Mom asked you to call her later, okay?”  
“Okay, bye,” Nino waved back. 

Jun glanced as he looked at Sho getting nearer to Nino. 

“Nino, I’m sorry about last night. Honestly, I don’t remember any part of that. So, sorry,” Sho said before slightly bowing to Nino.  
“It’s okay Sho-chan. You were drunk anyway,” Nino assured him.  
“Thanks, Nino. Although someone did attack me for my unconscious self,” Sho teased, looking at Jun.  
“Sorry,” Jun said before Sho waved and making his way out.

Nino quickly grabbed his bag, trying to avoid being with his two friends. Aiba managed to stop him.

“Nino-chan. I’m sorry okay?” Aiba said, hugging Nino.  
“It’s okay. I’m not mad at you,” Nino patted Aiba’s back. “Now, go back quickly. You have a date, right?” added Nino. Jun startled to hear that Nino already knew about Aiba and his girlfriend.

“That’s right!”  
“I’ll walk with you,” Nino said as Aiba started making his way out.  
“No. You are not coming with me,” Aiba turned to hold Nino’s shoulders and made him sat on the couch there. “You two idiots need to talk.”  
“Masaki…” Nino plead, looking at Aiba.

“Stay. You will be fine,” Aiba smiled. “Bye, Matsujun. Good luck!” Aiba made his way out before any of them managed to say anything. They heard a click sound, realizing that Aiba had locked the door. (Finally, someone had a sense to do the basic thing before doing any emotional confrontation). 

Jun looked at the closed door, trying to gather his strength. Jun sat in front of Nino on the other couch.

“Say what you want to say. Or else I will leave,” Nino hissed as Jun kept being silent.

Jun took a breath before kneeled in front of the smaller man and took his hands. Nino was surprised but kept his hands in Jun’s. 

“Sorry. I’m really sorry,” Jun said finally, searching for Nino eyes. The eyes that he still loves after all these years.  
“I didn’t mean to make you feel like that. You are a person. A very important person to me, to us,” Jun continued after Nino kept his silence. “I didn’t have any ill intention.”  
“What’s make you think that Aiba want to confess to me?” Nino asked, making Jun felt relieved. At least Nino didn’t give him a cold shoulder.

“I happened to overhear his confession back then,” replied Jun honestly. “Sorry.”  
“You didn’t hear the part where I rejected him?”  
“I left after you hugged him,” Jun answered, feeling like an idiot all over again. “Aiba’s right. I’m an idiot.”  
“Agreed. You are also an idiot when you thought that Aiba-chan still have feelings for me.”  
“Nino, I’m really sorry.”  
“I heard you the first time,” Nino sighed as he tugged Jun to sit beside him on the couch. “Apology accepted.”

Jun smiled, feeling nervous but bless as he sat closely to Nino. “Thank you.”  
“Promise me you will not do something stupid again?” said Nino. “Like making a life decision for me?”  
“I promise.”

Their arrangement now made the old memories kept rushing back. They used to spend time together like this. Usually it will be the three of them but there’s plenty of time when it’s just the two of them. Jun missed all of that. He missed the simplicity of their friendship without the complexity of love that clouded his heart like now. Nevertheless, he didn’t regret falling for Nino. 

“I thought you forget about me.”  
“Huh?” Jun looked at Nino as the smaller man suddenly said.  
“After I went to Tokyo, you didn’t contact me at all. When I contacted Aiba, you weren’t there. You seemed so far away from me. I thought you already forget about me,” explained Nino in a sad voice. 

Jun turned to Nino and gathering all his strength, he pulled Nino into a hug. Nino stiffened but Jun remained in his position, determine to clear all of his feelings. 

“I was heartbroken.”  
“Hmm?”  
“I thought you got together with Aiba-chan after the confession. I’m too afraid to confront the truth if you really were together. Looking back at all of that now, I really regret it.”

Jun felt Nino nodded his head.

“You are the only person that I will never forget Nino,” said Jun, tightening his hug as he felt Nino relaxed in his arms. Jun turned slightly to Nino’s left ear before adding, “I love you.”

Jun finally said the words that had been haunting him. His voice wavered as he said those three words. He was beyond terrified for Nino’s reaction. But he felt relieved as some kind of burden has been lifted from his heart. A single tear ran down his cheek as the realization hit him.

Jun felt Nino trembling in his arms but he waited patiently for Nino. He has been waiting for more than ten years already. Just a few minutes didn’t matter.

“It’s that true?” Nino said later. His voice crooked like he’s been crying so Jun gently pushed him apart. There are no tears in Nino’s eyes but his eyes looked red.  
“Yes. I love you,” Jun said it again, looking straight at Nino’s eyes this time. Thankful that he managed to finally said it in front of him.  
“After all this time?”  
“Always.”

Jun braced his heart as Nino turned his eyes away. Nino kept looking at his own hands, unable to look at Jun anymore. At that time, seeing the trouble look in Nino’s face and his silence, Jun knew that he will be heartbroken again. Only this time it will hit him harder than the last.

“Hey,” Jun called gently as he cupped Nino’s cheek to look at him. Nino tried to look everywhere but him and Jun smiled a sad smile.  
“The fact that I love you didn’t entitle you to say it back,” Jun said. “I’m glad I finally got to say it. I love you not with the condition that you need to love me back. So, you didn’t need to feel so guilty.”

As soon as Jun finished his words, Nino fell into Jun’s chest while muttering ‘sorry’ again and again. Jun kissed Nino’s head as he felt Nino’s tears soaked on his shirt.

“Hey, it’s okay. Don’t cry,” Jun said but his own face was full of his silent tears.

They stayed in that position making Jun felt like eternity but then without a word, Nino pulled apart and kissed his forehead before leaving Jun alone, mending his broken heart.

During the drive home, Jun kept fighting his tears and the need to call Aiba. He fought against it as it will only interrupt Aiba’s date. 

But as soon as he arrived at his doorstep, Aiba had been waiting for him. Jun looked in wonder before Aiba muttered ‘Nino’. 

Jun ran to hug his best friend as soon as they entered the apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't kill me.


	5. Chapter 5

“What? With Nino at Kyoto? Why is that?” Jun asked his manager as they were on the drive to the studio a week later. 

After the heartbroken episode, Jun didn’t saw Nino yet because they didn’t have any group activities. Jun was glad of that arrangement and he managed to take a few days off to mend his broken heart.

“Did the aging finally got to you? Did you forget that you need to film your This is MJ show there?” his manager sighed, looking at Jun through the rear mirror.  
“Yes, but I didn’t know that it will be with Nino.”  
“Ninomiya-kun will be your guest and the agency decided that it will help to show the bond with new member after all.”  
“But, why my show?”

“Aiba-kun and Sakurai-kun already filmed their show. Yours is the only available option and it will be interesting because both of you went to school at Kyoto anyway. The director of your show already agreed though.”

“But,” Jun tried to argue, feeling scared for his fragile heart.  
“Why are you so against it anyway? Did you have any problem with Nino-kun?”

“No, there’s nothing like that.”  
“So, what’s the matter?”

“Nothing, just surprised,” Jun shook his head and kept quiet after that until they arrived at the studio. His heart failed to calm down as he went through his job for that day. Luckily, he only needed to record his own show that day. 

*

“So, this is the spot that Jun-kun fell down on the first day of high school,” Nino said as he pointed at the spot in front of the gate of their high school entrance. His remarked earned a glare from Jun and roars of laughter from the staff members. 

“Oii, there’s no need to film that though,” Jun said at the cameraman but chuckled to maintain the entertainment content for his show. 

“This was my locker,” Jun pointed to the middle locker after they entered the building.  
“This was mine,” Nino pointed to the one beside Jun. “And this was Aiba-chan’s.”  
“Ah, you must be the best of the friends, right?” Yamazaki-san, the guest host said as they walked further to their old classroom.   
“That’s right,” Jun replied. 

“I heard the three of you was a bit of delinquent back then,” Yamazaki said after Jun and Nino showed their old seat to the cameraman.

“Where did you heard that information? Who said that?” Nino said in a comical way, pretending to search for the culprit.  
“We were not. We were just a biiit naughty,” Jun chuckled. “We did have fun, though.”

They recorded enough content of touring around the school later before they stopped for a break. They will continue the recording later for the second segment. They second segment will be a battle between both of them with Yamazaki as a mediator. There are three battle which is archery, hide and seek and food quizzes. The archery and hide and seek battle will be held at the school compound today meanwhile the food quizzes will be held tomorrow at the famous restaurant in Kyoto. So, they will spend the night there. 

Jun smiled as Nino came to sit beside him at the bench in front of the school yard after they finished their bento. Honestly Jun was still sad but he’s not hurting as he accepted the fact bravely. Nino has been nothing but helpful to him. Never did Nino made the situation awkward for both of them and he never ask if Jun was okay. Jun will fell apart if Nino did ask that. So, they managed to maintain their work relationship and friendship. Jun really appreciate their friendship to sulk away anyway.

“Look at this Nino,” Jun said, showing their Youtube channel to the smaller man. “There’s a lot of good reviews about your singing.”

“I’m glad. Arashi’s fan is a good fan, right?”  
“Yes. I’m really grateful to every single one of them.”  
“But I’m still worried. There’s some negative reviews too.”

“It’s only a small percentage compared to the good one,” Jun stated the fact. “You did have a nice voice.”  
“I know it’s nothing compared to Satoshi.”  
“Hey, don’t say it like that.”  
“It’s true. I know that. But I need to do this.”

Jun looked at Nino’s determined face. He wanted to ask more about that but their manager appeared, saying that the director wanted to continue the recording.

The recording ran smoothly with Jun winning the archery while Nino won the hide and seek. They wrapped the recording before the skies turned dark. They were resting in the van later while heading to their hotel. Jun looked at his watch and decided that he will visit his parents after he get refresh.

Jun turned to look at Nino on his left, expecting him to be asleep but Jun saw Nino just staring blankly beyond the window.

“Nino,” Jun called gently but Nino remained in his state. The worry that Jun felt since the last time kept coming to him. Jun moved to get near Nino before slightly hovered in front him to get his attention. Jun didn’t have the courage to touch Nino after all.

“Nino.”  
“Ah, yes,” Nino replied this time, giving Jun a kind smile. “What is it, J?”  
“I wanted to go for dinner at my parents’ later. Come with me?”

Nino looked a bit surprised but made a thinking face later, considering Jun’s offer.

“It’s okay if you are too tired,” Jun assured him, feeling guilty if he was kind of pressing Nino.  
“No, I’m okay. It’s okay, I guess. It’s been a while since I saw your parents too,” Nino agreed. 

“Okay then, let’s get a rest first before we go. I will see you an hour later?” Jun concluded as they arrived at their hotel.   
“Okay,” Nino nodded and they walked to their respective room. Their room was side by side on the first floor. 

Jun entered the room and laid his tired body on the bed there. His thoughts wandered to the man that occupied the room next to his. 

*

“Nino-chan! Finally, we met again!” Jun’s mother engulfed him in a hug. Nino was a bit startled but touched at the warm greetings. Jun’s mother is still a kind and warm person like before.

“I saw you on television! Congratulations,” Jun’s sister said later and Nino smiled at the remark. Jun’s father nodded to him from his seat in front of the television.

“Thank you, Jina-san” said Nino. He was glad that Jun’s family remained the same. Back then, Nino always spent his time here or at Aiba’s as Nino’s late mother will working until late at night. Remembering his late mother, Nino fell into silence.

“Come on, give Nino some space please,” Jun aided, sensing Nino’s mood changing. “And why are you here, big sister? Where’s Ryosuke-kun?” Jun turned the topic, asking about his brother in law.

“Ah, he got a conference at Okinawa. He will be coming back tomorrow.”  
“Is that so,” Jun replied. “Let’s go to my room?” Jun asked Nino as his mother went back to the kitchen with his sister to finish preparing the dinner. 

Nino nodded and they climbed the stairs to Jun’s old room. As they entered the room, a surge of memories came flooded to both of them.

“Ah, your room is still the same,” Nino remarked as he looked around.   
“Yeah, I just brought the important things when I left home. It’s good to still have all of these things here anyway.”

“This is Aiba’s right?” Nino pointed at the old comic magazine on the rack.   
“That’s right. I still have his old DVDs too,” Jun grinned, making Nino’s laugh.   
“Don’t worry, I still borrowed Aiba’s belt until now.” 

Jun smiled, glad that they still can laughed like this again.

“Remember this?” Jun asked, showing Nino an old game.  
“Hey, that’s mine!” 

“Haha, sorry” Jun chuckled, realizing that there’s still a lot of Nino’s things in his room but he forgot in which box he stored all of that.

“It’s okay, you can keep that,” Nino said when Jun gave the game to him. “Ah, I’m glad you bring me here, J.”  
“Me too.”

They fell into an awkward silence then as Jun pretended to look at an old manga while Nino sat on Jun’s old bed.

“I miss all of these,” Nino said. “I miss you,” he added in a silence voice but Jun managed to hear it.  
“Me too,” Jun replied and turned to look at Nino’s eyes that already on his. There’s something in those eyes that Jun failed to decipher. They were losing in each other eyes when Jun’s sister entered the room without notice.

“Let’s eat!” she said cheerfully, startling them both.  
“I see that you still didn’t learn how to knock,” Jun retorted.   
“You are not doing anything anyway,” Jina said and ruffled Jun’s hair.  
“Hey, I’m not a kid!” Jun glared at his sister.

“You are still my baby brother,” Jina grinned before started to leave. “Come on, mom will get angry if you are late!” she added as she climbed down the stairs.

“Let’s go?”  
“Yeah.”

The dinner was lively with Jun’s family entertained Nino kindly. Jun and Nino’s moods brightened and Nino really did enjoy the food. Jun wanted to fully enjoy the sight of Nino’s laughing happily with his family and how cute Nino was eating with his left hand but the sad eyes that he saw earlier kept flashing in his mind. The only thing that kept holding him was Nino’s laughs. 

The fun time ended later as they needed to go back to their hotel. Jun’s father offered to send them but they refuse saying that their manager was on the way to pick them up. Jun’s mother was still complaining about why can’t they just stay the night there. Jun managed to reason with his mother and promise to try to come home more often if his schedule allowed. As soon as they entered their designated hotel room, Jun laid on the bed tiredly. He tossed on his bed, trying to find the best position to sleep. As sleepy as he was, there’s a thought that kept on attacking his mind.

There’s still something that has not been settle yet between him and Nino.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short part and not a lot of things happened. But the next part may be important. Thanks a lot to anyone reading!


	6. Chapter 6

Jun woke up the next morning when an annoying sound kept ringing beside him. He opened his eyes to search for his phone and feeling weird as he looked at the caller id.

“Are you okay?” Jun said as soon as he picked up the call.  
“I’m fine,” Nino answered, his voice sound groggy. “We need to get ready in an hour. Tanaka-san will wait at the lobby later.”

“Okay.”

Nino ended the call and Jun felt weird that Nino was the one who gave him the message. He checked his call history and found the reason why. There are ten missed calls from their manager. 

Jun grunted as he went to bathroom to take a shower. He felt his head heavy and prayed that the recording will run smoothly today. Thankfully, it’s just a food quizzes today and they will end the recording around noon.

After he finished getting ready and packed his bag, he went to the lobby to find Nino was already there. He looked refreshed and cute with his slightly bed hair. Jun’s heart skipped a beat. 

“Morning,” Jun greeted him as he sat beside Nino’s chair. “Where’s Tanaka-san?”

“Morning. He went to settle about our room checkout. You are late,” Nino stated, looking at Jun. 

“Ah, sorry,” Jun chuckled. “Have you had your breakfast?” Jun just asking to clear the air as he knew that the food has been delivered at their room before. 

“Yes. Don’t tell me you didn’t have yours?”

“I did have mine. Just asking,” Jun replied as Tanaka got near them and signaling for them to make a move. 

They climbed on the van and arrived at the recording spot 20 minutes later. The restaurant was a popular restaurant around the area and it seemed like a number of people had gathered there. As Jun and Nino made their way inside, some fans greeted them outside. Luckily the production has been prepared for this kind of situation and managed to handle the crowds. Jun wondered how some of the fans knew about their recording details there.

They greeted Yamazaki who’s already been there. After they got prepared, they started the recording. The quiz questions were fun and the foods were also delicious. Jun and Nino took turns to win the quiz and happily got the foods that offered by the restaurant. 

Jun found it endearing to know that Nino still didn’t like raw foods and he was still in love with hamburger steak. Nino seemed happy to indulge in the foods given to him but Jun could see Nino’s slight trembles when he used the chopsticks. Nino also kept frowning from time to time. Jun prayed that Nino will be okay and willed for the time to run faster.

In the end, Jun have more wins and it’s been decided that he was the overall winner for their battle. Nino showed his frustrated face for the camera but he clapped for Jun earnestly, looking at Jun’s happy face. The recording ended after that. Jun was glad that everything went according to the plan without any problem.

They were packing their things when Tanaka came and said that the van has been ready for them. Jun turned to find the sight of Nino holding his head. Jun went to Nino’s side but tried to cover it in front of the others to avoid the commotion. 

“Nino, are you okay?” Jun whispered as he got near the smaller man. 

“Yeah, just a headache. This place is too crowded.”

“Let’s go to the van,” said Jun and he looked at Tanaka who nodded his head, giving Jun the assurance that he will be ready to help when needed.

“Got your things?” Jun asked as he guided Nino out. His hand guarded behind Nino’s back as he noticed Nino slightly swaying while he walked. 

“Hm,” Nino answered Jun, his face showed clear pain. 

Jun was so worried and his worry was proven right when Nino collapsed before the front door. Luckily Jun has been guarding him and managed to catch him before he landed on the front door.

“Nino!” Jun startled as Tanaka ran to them. 

“Nino,” Jun called again as he slightly shook Nino but the man remained unconscious in his arms. The other staffs tried to help but Jun just shook his head.

“Give him space, please,” Jun said and cradled the man closer to him.

“Come on, Matsumoto-kun. The van is just outside. We need to get him to the hospital,” Tanaka said and Jun nodded. 

Tanaka went outside first and signed to Jun that it’s okay to bring Nino out. Jun lifted the smaller man and felt even more worried as Nino’s weight felt nothing to him. As they went outside, the other staffs had already cover the way for Jun to walk to the van. The van managed to park near the restaurant and Jun was really grateful to the help of the good staffs around him. 

Inside the van, Jun laid Nino on the seat and put his head in his lap and slowly ran his hand on Nino’s hair. Jun’s heart crumbled looking at Nino’s condition and prayed hard that he will not losing Nino again.

*

Jun held Nino’s hand gently as he looked at his face. Jun felt a heavy tug at his heart as he remembered the conversation that he had with the doctor just now. The conversation shed light into some of the worry and confusion towards Nino’s behavior. But it left Jun with an even more lump that refused to go away.

Jun sighed as he brought Nino’s hand to his forehead. Remembering the revelation by the doctor made Jun felt sadder that there’s a lot in Nino’s life that he didn’t know. Although as a friend, he wondered just how many things that Nino kept to himself without telling any of it. Jun remembered that when Nino’s mother died, Nino just cried once in front of him inside Jun’s bedroom the day before the funeral. Nino didn’t even cry at the hospital when the doctor announced about his mother’s death.

Jun felt guilty wondering how Nino coped with his life after they spent time apart. Jun felt even more guilty when remembering how selfish he was when he didn’t contact Nino after Nino went to Tokyo. Nino did think that Jun had forget about him too. Jun felt like he was the worst best friend in the whole world. 

“J…?” Nino’s weak voice snapped Jun from his thoughts.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” Jun swiped his tear and put Nino’s hand down gently. 

“Okay, just my head is still hurt.”

“It will be okay later,” Jun looked at Nino and felt relieved when there’s some blood in his face now. 

“What… happened?”

“You fainted at the restaurant after the recording. We brought you here,” Jun explained. “Ah, I need to tell the doctor that you have been awake.” 

“Stay,” Nino’s voice called and Jun immediately hugged Nino as he saw the smaller man on the verge of crying.

“It’s okay. I’m here,” Jun tightened his hug when Nino’s hand gripped his. 

Jun felt the trembling as his front shirt once again soaked with Nino’s tears. Jun rubbed Nino’s back and fought back with his tears that threatened to fall. Jun needed to be strong. He needed to be strong for Nino. Because Nino will need that. 

They stayed in that position until their manager came and said that they could bring Nino back. Nino’s hand remained in Jun’s until they arrived at Nino’s apartment.

*

Jun was sipping on his coffee when Nino walked to the living room. Nino looked startled but remained unchanged when he sat on the couch there. Jun put his cup down and went to sit beside Nino. 

“You’re still here?” Nino asked, his stare bore into the television.

“Sorry, it’s already late when we arrived last night. So, I made myself at home,” Jun answered, hiding the part where Nino cried in his sleep last night and refused to let go of Jun’s hand. When his hand was freed, Jun didn’t have the heart to leave Nino, so he took over Nino’s couch to sleep.

“I’m okay now. You can go back to your place,” Nino said, his voice void of any emotion.

Jun kept silence but slowly he took Nino’s hand in his. He was relieved when Nino didn’t push his hand away.

“You know I will always be here, right? I will always by your side,” Jun gently said, looking at his friend’s face.

“That’s the only thing that I don’t want, Jun,” Nino replied, this time he took his hand from Jun’s. “I’m fine. I’m not weak.”

“Can you please, just this one time, please don’t lie to me,” Jun plead, taking Nino’s hand back and made Nino to look at him. 

“What do you mean? I didn’t lie,” Nino refused to look at Jun and turned to look outside instead.

“Stop saying you are okay, when you are clearly not!” Jun felt frustrated when Nino kept pushing him away. He tried to keep his voice but his emotions took over his mind.

“Yeah? What did you know about me?”

“I admit that’s a lot that I didn’t know about you! But if you give me a chance, you know that I will always be by your side!”

“Who want to be with an incomplete person, Jun? I will only drag you down!” 

“I don’t care! I will leave everything just for you!” Jun said determinedly and Nino looked at him, his eyes brimming with tears.

“That’s just an illusion Jun. When you realized everything later, when you realized how hard to be with me, you will only leave me at the end,” Nino sadly said with tears dropping on his face.

“I will not leave you, Nino. Everything will be fine, I promise you.”

“What do you know, Jun?! How can you know that everything will be just fine?!” Nino roared and took his hand away from Jun. 

Jun was startled and looked at Nino, his words lost in Nino’s angry eyes.

“It’s easy for you to say, but everything is just not as simple as a promise, Jun. When the time comes…” Nino’s voice faded away as he turned from Jun and hide his face on his knees. 

Jun’s hand hovered above Nino’s head but Nino’s trembling figure stopped him from getting further. He was also afraid of upsetting Nino again. 

“Jun, please. I need to be alone for now,” Nino’s weak voice made Jun retreated his hand. 

Jun looked at Nino in defeat. He didn’t want to leave Nino but it’s hard seeing Nino like this. Jun wanted to say something, to say that he will always here for Nino but decided against it. Jun gathered his belongings and grabbed his jacket as he looked at Nino for the last time before leaving.

Jun sighed as he leaned against the wall in the elevator on his way down. He felt like punching something and he felt mad at himself. He now knew about Nino’s condition. He got the answer that he was searching for since he noticed something was wrong with Nino.

But knowing didn’t make the problem away. It made Jun felt even more helpless. Everything was out of his control and he didn’t know how to help Nino. He thought he can make Nino happy, even as a friend. He can never be so wrong in his life. 

Although Jun was so sure that he will always be by Nino’s side and provided him with support, Jun knew this was something that will make Nino kept building an even thick barrier around him. Jun wondered what he can do to help Nino and he felt afraid that Nino will push him away further. Nevertheless, Jun knew he will always love Nino no matter what will happened. 

Even when the time come for Nino to lose his hearing completely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, it's cliche and lame... But this is the things that always in my mind, although I failed to express in a good way. Forgive me for the inaccuracy about Nino's condition, forgive my fiction. Thanks for anyone reading 😁


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for language and lots of arguing and lots of tears.

Jun opened the door to the constant ringing. He was in the bathroom so he was a bit startled when someone rang the bell. As the door opened, Aiba’s smiling face greeted him.

“Matsujun! You’re so slow!” Aiba whined and made his way in with a bottle of wine.

“I just finished my shower, idiot,” Jun sighed but glad that Aiba came. He intended to talk to Aiba but work had been holding up.

“Are you hungry? I cooked pasta earlier,” Jun asked when Aiba handed him the wine.

“Yes, please.”

“I’ll heat it up. Wait here,” Jun left for the kitchen and started heating the pasta that he cooked before taking the shower. He was glad that he made enough for them.

“Masaki, let’s eat,” Jun called as he finished preparing the table.

“Ah, sorry for barging in like this,” Aiba took his place in front of Jun. “I just need to talk to you.”

“Later, let’s eat first.”

“Okay,” Aiba nodded and they started eating.

When they finished the food later, Jun poured Aiba the wine as they were relaxing at the dining table.

“You said you need to talk?” Jun started, sipping on his wine.

“Ah, about Nino,” Aiba nodded and put his glass down.

“I guess so.”

“There’s something wrong with him, right?” Aiba asked directly. “I’m sure you know something more than me.”

“It’s complicated,” Jun sighed, feeling guilty towards Aiba. “I’m sorry, Masaki. But this is something that you need to hear by yourself from him.”

“Hmm, I did ask him but he said nothing,” Aiba pouted.

“Sorry. It’s not my story to tell,” Jun apologized again. “I couldn’t betray him like that, even if it’s you asking.”

“It’s unfair. He told you though.”

“It’s not like that. I just happened to know. He didn’t tell me.”

“Sorry,” Aiba said, feeling guilty. “I’m just worried.”

“I know. Me too. But you know how Nino is.”

“Yeah. He hates being visible although he tried to appear otherwise.”

“He didn’t change, right?” Jun chuckled, trying to ease the tension.

“He didn’t,” Aiba agreed before adding, “He also tended to open up to you, just like before.”

“That’s not true,” Jun shook his head and wished Aiba knew just how hard it was for him to break Nino’s shell.

“Did something happen between the two of you recently?”

“What do you mean?”

“I noticed both of you look different after you came back from Kyoto,” Aiba said and poured another drink in his glass.

“No, nothing happened.”

“Is that so…”

“Yes,” Jun replied and looked at Aiba fidgeting on his chair. “Is there something else that you want to talk to me?” Jun eyed Aiba that seemed restless.

“Matsujun, if I accidently did something that might affect your life, will you get mad at me?”

“It depends.”

“Actually… There’s something that I owed to you and Nino.” Aiba went to the living room to get his bag and then sat back in front of Jun. “I’m sure you will hate me after this.”

Jun looked at Aiba questionably. He wondered what was the matter.

“I may get angry but I will never hate you, Masaki. So, you can stop thinking like that.”

“No, you will surely hate me,” Aiba dropped his head, unable to look at Jun.

“Stop it, you are my best friend. There’s no chance that I will hate you,” Jun assured and patted Aiba’s shoulder.

Aiba sighed and then sneaked his hand inside his bag before he put a CD case on the table in front of Jun.

“What is that?” asked Jun.

“Nino entrusted this to me back then before he left for Tokyo. He asked me to give it to you on your birthday,” Aiba said carefully, afraid of Jun’s reaction.

“I don’t understand,” Jun replied but still didn’t take the CD case.

“It’s your birthday present from Nino. I should give it to you but I forgot about it when the time came. At that time also, I rarely contacted Nino and he never ask about it,” Aiba explained before he stood up and bowed to Jun. “I’m sorry!”

Jun was surprised at the revelation and he kind of pissed off but he didn’t blame Aiba for it. When Jun thought about it clearly, Aiba might be still in the state of heartbroken when Nino rejected him at that time.

“It’s okay, Masaki,” Jun went to Aiba and pushed him to stand. Aiba looked at Jun with a guilty face but Jun just smiled gently. Jun urged Aiba to sit back on the chair before he returned to his.

“But, why now?” Jun asked when he slowly touched the CD case.

“I forgot about it completely and even when we met Nino again, he never asks about it. Then, last week, my mother asked me to clear my belongings because she wanted to turn my old room to my brother’s. I found this in my old box there.”

Jun slowly brought the CD nearer to look at it clearly. The case was a simple transparent case with a folded note slipped inside. The case was also wrapped with a plastic with nothing but a letter ‘J’ written in front of it.

“I’m really sorry, Matsujun. You can hate me if you want,” Aiba said later, making Jun put the CD back on the table.

“I told you, I will never hate you,” Jun smiled genuinely and poured Aiba another drink.

“Thanks,” Aiba smiled back.

They fell into silence; both were losing in their own thoughts. Jun’s fingers absentmindedly ran on the CD case.

Aiba sipped on his drink later and interrupted the silence as he said, “Ah, have you heard Nino’s demo song?”

“Ah, right. He sent it this morning, right? I had photoshoot today, so didn’t get to hear it yet.”

“You should hear it. I believe that song may be a love letter for you,” Aiba smiled meaningfully to Jun.

“In case you don’t remember, he rejected me already. I believe you were there when I cried a river.”

“I know, but Nino is never easy. He is complicated like that. So, I believe he has his own reason,” Aiba reasoned and a while later he finished his drink. “I’m going home, Matsujun. So, make sure you listen to your love letter, okay?”

“Idiot,” Jun chuckled before adding, “Are you okay? You can stay here if you’re not well enough to get back.”

“I’m fine. I came with a cab and I have work tomorrow morning. Thanks anyway.”

Jun nodded and waited for Aiba to gather his things before walked him to the door. Aiba remained on his stand by the door after he finished wearing his shoes, looking at Jun.

“If you’re thinking about apologizing again, save it. I will not hear it anymore,” Jun said, understanding Aiba’s gaze.

Aiba chuckled and nodded to Jun before making his way out. “See you later,” said Aiba and Jun replied him back.

Jun sighed as the door locked behind Aiba. He went to the kitchen to clean up and finished later as there’s not much of a mess anyway. He grabbed the CD case and entered his mini office besides his bedroom.

Jun seated on the chair there and as he waited for his computer to switch on, he eyed the CD case again. He never thought that Nino left something for him. And he never returned the favor, making Jun felt guilty. His silence might send a negative response to Nino back then. It’s no wonder that Nino tended to push him now.

Jun opened his mail to search for the file that Nino sent this morning. He decided to hear the song first because after all, the song related with his work. For Jun, work will come first. There’s also the fact that he will be crumble down when he heard the song in the CD case and will not have the will to do anything after that.

Jun put the headphone on before he played the song. The song started slowly and hearing Nino’s raw voice with his raw emotions made Jun’s leg turned jelly. It’s lucky that he was already sitting down. As he lost in the melody and the words, Jun’s heart ached and fighting the tears that threatening to fall, his grips on the chair tightened.

When the song ended, Jun felt the increasing longing for Nino. His heart ached but the song gave him some kind of strength that he didn’t know he needed. Jun slumped against the chair and closed his eyes. He needed to compose himself before he can turn his attention towards the CD case.

After regained his composure back, Jun picked the case and slowly opened it. He inserted the CD and while waiting for it to play, Jun opened the folded note inside. The content of the note made Jun’s face lost his color.

“Idiot!” Jun cursed himself as the song in the CD started playing. It’s his birthday song, composed by Nino. If Jun managed to contain himself before, this time tears just dropped on his cheeks. When the song ended, Jun felt like punching something, so he did. His hand hurt as he punched the surface of the table.

Jun wiped his tears as he braced himself. He ran towards his bedroom as his mind tried to remember Nino’s schedule for tomorrow. Despite that, he felt like he didn’t care if Nino have work tomorrow. He still needed to see Nino now.

When he was inside the bedroom, he opened his bedside drawer and picked the small box inside. Then he grabbed his jacket and car keys before making his way out. Jun was acting fast because he didn’t want any hesitation hindered him from making the things right with Nino this time.

They already wasted a lot of time.

*

When Nino opened the door to him, Jun was glad that Nino didn’t look tired or angry at him.

“Hi, sorry for coming so suddenly,” Jun said as he tried to control his nerve when Nino’s eyes dropped on him.

“It’s okay, come in,” Nino replied kindly before making his way inside, while Jun followed him to the living room. Nino’s game device was on and Jun felt a little bit relieved. At least Nino was not sleeping when he rang the bell, and Nino’s playing meant that he didn’t have work tomorrow.

Jun sat on the couch there while Nino came from the kitchen and handed Jun a mineral water. Jun accepted the bottle and muttered his thanks.

“So… what’s the matter?” Nino asked.

“There’s something I need to talk to you,” Jun replied and an idea came to him when Nino made a move to turn off his game.

“Play a game with me?” Jun said, startling Nino.

“Eh? Why? You said you want to talk.”

“Nothing. Just feel like it,” Jun shrugged. “It’s been a while since we play together,” added Jun, remembering their silly old days when they always fought over a video game. Jun could also calm his nerve while playing before he got to the main purpose of his coming.

“Okay then,” Nino agreed and gave Jun a controller. “Is Mario Kart okay?”

“Perfect.”

“Okay,” Nino chose the game and not long after they started picking up their characters.

“Let’s spice this up,” Jun said as they were ready to start the game. “Loser will get a punishment,” Jun grinned.

“What?” Nino tried to object but the game was starting and they immediately focused on playing. Jun cursed his luck when he lost on the first run. But when they ended the overall race later, Jun smiled when he saw the pout on Nino’s mouth.

“You really didn’t change, Nino. You always lost to me back then too.”

“Shut up. It’s just a luck you know.”

“So… as a loser, you will get a punishment from me.”

“Seriously? I never agreed to that,” Nino tried to protest but Jun just smile.

“Don’t worry, I will give you an easy punishment.”

“Urgh, I don’t believe you,” Nino grumbled as he got comfortable on the couch after finished arranging the game device. “Okay, I’m ready.”

Jun tried to calm his heart as he tried to think of the best way to start the talk. He needed to do the right thing or he will lose Nino forever.

“Your punishment is,” Jun started, looking at Nino. “You need to tell me only the truth right now.”

“What?”

“I said just now that I want to talk to you. So, during the talk, I want you to be honest and don’t lie to me.”

“J, I don’t like the sound of this.”

“Please, Nino. I need this. Just for today.”

Jun held his stare into Nino’s eyes, trying to show how determine he was. He felt relieved when Nino sighed, showing his defeat.

“What it is?”

“Do you remember this?” Jun started as he took out the CD case from his bag and put it on the table in front of Nino.

Nino’s face turned pale when he recognized the case.

“It’s my birthday present from you,” Jun said when Nino remained unresponsive. “Thanks for this. This was the most beautiful present I ever got in my whole life. I’m sorry that I only get to thank you for this now.”

“I thought…” Nino’s said in a low voice, losing his words when he looked at Jun.

“You thought I hate this present?” Jun guessed and sighed when Nino nodded.

“To tell you the truth, I never knew the existence of this present until today.”

“Why?”

“Please don’t kill Aiba, but he forgot to give it to me back then. It’s an honest mistake, really.”

Nino didn’t’ reply and Jun took the opportunity to corner him.

“I confessed to you before but you apologize to me,” Jun stood up before he kneeled in front of Nino. “But you didn’t say that you didn’t love me back. In fact, you didn’t reject me.”

“Jun, please, don’t,” plead Nino.

“I believe you love me too,” Jun held Nino’s hand, trying to find the strength.

“I don’t…”

“You can’t lie today.”

Nino turned his gaze away from Jun but his hand stayed in Jun’s.

“I believe I said that I will only drag you down, Jun.”

“I know, and you still didn’t say that you didn’t love me back.”

Nino looked almost angry by Jun’s words. But he didn’t push Jun away so Jun hoped that it’s a good sign.

“What make you so sure?” Nino said later.

“You made a whole song for me, Nino. Not one, but two.”

“It didn’t mean anything,” Nino was fidgeting on his seat. “And only the birthday song was for you.”

“You just lied. It means every fucking thing to us, and the song you sent this morning was also for me, so stop denying it.”

“You are so confident. How can you be so sure?”

Jun left Nino’s side to pick the folded note on the table.

“This,” Jun handed the note to Nino. Nino slowly took it from Jun. Jun noticed Nino’s slight tremble when he read the note.

“I’m sorry that I just got this note and sorry for breaking our promise,” Jun added later when Nino returned the note to him. “But believe me when I said that I want to be with you.”

“You aren’t thinking straight, Jun. How come you want to be with me? I’m incapable,” Nino pushed Jun and stood a distance away from Jun. “I can hardly hear from my left ear, Jun! When I lost it completely, you will blame me for making your life miserable.”

Jun looked at Nino’s back sadly but refused to have the same outcome as before. He hugged Nino from behind and felt Nino’s heart beat was on the same state as his.

“I don’t see how’s your condition related with what I feel for you,” Jun said and when Nino tried to contradict him, Jun added quickly, “I love you, Kazu. I will always love you, no matter what.”

“I will only make you feel incomplete, Jun. I will never be enough for you.”

“Having you here with me is already enough. Knowing that you love me too already complete me. You already did from the moment I met you,” Jun poured his heart out, trying to convince the smaller man.

“I didn’t say that I love you,” Nino tried to be stubborn but his voice was not as strong as before.

“So, do you love me?” Jun turned Nino to face him. “Remember, you can’t lie today.”

Nino tried to look everywhere but Jun so Jun cupped his face and made Nino looked at him.

“You will never drag me down, Kazu. No matter what happened, I will always be holding you up and we will face everything together. I promise you,” Jun said again. “So, please… Just give me a chance.”

“Even when I lost everything?” Nino asked but Jun knew that the door was opening for him.

“You will not lose everything, because you will always have me,” Jun promised and wiped a single tear that ran down Nino’s face.

“I love you. I will keep on saying that because I know I will always love you.” Jun added.

Nino smiled amidst the tears.

“You’re such a crybaby, Kazu,” Jun chuckled, wiping Nino’s tears away.

“You are too,” Nino laughed back.

Jun felt his world brighten to hear that laughs and tried to hug the shorter man. Nino put a hand on Jun’s chest, stopping his intention. Slowly, Nino closed the gap between them to bring their lips together. Jun gasped but composed himself before returned the kiss.

The first touch of their lips turned Jun into a mess as he didn’t even think that this kind of thing will happened. But the feel of Nino’s gentle lips on his confirmed that this was the reality and it felt even better than all of his dream.

Jun felt relieved that Nino didn’t push him away again. Although there will be obstacles in their relationship, Jun was grateful that they found each other. Jun knew he will always be by Nino’s side and support him through the hardest part in his life.

When they pulled apart, Nino’s cheeks were red and Jun laughed heartily despite having red cheeks too. Jun brought Nino to sit with him on the couch and pulled the small box from his bag.

“Here, this is for you,” Jun gave the box to Nino. Nino eyed Jun questionably as he took the box. “I supposed to give this to you when I decided to confess back then. When I saw you and Aiba, I kept it to myself.”

Nino nodded in understanding and then he opened the box. Inside the box, there’s two guitar picks that had been tied together as a necklace. One of the guitar picks had a letter ‘J’ and the other ‘K’. Nino recognized it immediately. It’s their first guitar picks that they bought for each other.

“You are so cheesy, J,” Nino laughed but he held the item closely.

“Say what you want. I know you love it,” Jun laughed too and took the necklace from Nino’s hand before he tied it around Nino’s neck.

“I love it,” admitted Nino as he traced it around him. “Thanks, J,” Nino smiled before adding, “I love you.”

Jun’s eyes widened as he stared at Nino. ‘Finally…’ Jun muttered before he brought Nino to him and crashed their mouths together. His arms tightened around Nino, never to let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: I will explain about the folded note in the next part. I think you can guess already what is Nino's song. It's his real solo anyway. 
> 
> Ah... sorry for the very late update. So I gave a bit long chapter to make up for it. Life had been hectic (still is) with works and everything. I supposed to post this during Nino's birthday (along with a oneshot) but obviously didn't manage to. Hope it's not too late for celebrating^^ Happy (belated) birthday to Ninomiya Kazunari! A special person that dragged me into Arashi and to the world of everything Japan 😊 Hope you are having a good life and hope your bank account overflows with money 😁 
> 
> And thanks a lot to anyone reading! 💛💜💚💙💗


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